My mother is really begining to make me upset. She never listens to what I have to say. I mean, If I come into the office while you're on the computer and want to talk to you, you don't shoe me away because you're playing one of your oh-so-important word racer games online. How long is it going to take for you to realize that I DONT CARE IF IT'S RATED!! I'm sorry if I always thought that your daughter was more important to you then some internet game rateing. I'm sorry.

So today, after school I let you on b/c I just didn't care. Then after swimming, I just wanted to get on. It was 9 oclock and I would have been off in 45 mins anyway. Yes, when you say "15 minutes" I'll get upset. She had been on since I got home from school and didn't even GO TO WORK!

I mean, i know my parents "split up" what...a few months ago? It drives the whole family crazy that she's always on the computer, and that her games are more important than anything. So when I try and talk to her, she doesnt ever actually listen. Then when I get her to listen, I have to yell, and I get in trouble. So she ended up not letting me get on at all. Thank you, mother.

So I found the loophole. I hooked up the old computer and pulled out the router + cord and just used that. So I'm posting from there real quick while I sit here and cry like I usually do. These are the times I wish that Ryan were home. I always pictured that when he had his license, we could just drive away together. Get away from everything, especially my mom and sometimes dad. It wouldn't matter where we went. Even to the gas station up the corner for icies. Even to..canada for all I care. But he's not here and I'm left to deal with this myself. It's a battle I must fight alone.

With my mom not loving my dad anymore, and my dad using passive agression to try and get me to not love my mom anymore(he doens't know he does it), I'm just getting torn apart from the inside out. I don't know how much more I an take...</a>