So, after school I got my eyebrows done and they look nice. I barely got anything done, it looks very natural. So I asked Dan to the formal and he said yes! I'm glad I'm going with a friend that'll make it fun! So yeah...I dont know the full plans yet. Haha. I'm so dumb! </a>

My mother is really begining to make me upset. She never listens to what I have to say. I mean, If I come into the office while you're on the computer and want to talk to you, you don't shoe me away because you're playing one of your oh-so-important word racer games online. How long is it going to take for you to realize that I DONT CARE IF IT'S RATED!! I'm sorry if I always thought that your daughter was more important to you then some internet game rateing. I'm sorry.

So today, after school I let you on b/c I just didn't care. Then after swimming, I just wanted to get on. It was 9 oclock and I would have been off in 45 mins anyway. Yes, when you say "15 minutes" I'll get upset. She had been on since I got home from school and didn't even GO TO WORK!

I mean, i know my parents "split up" what...a few months ago? It drives the whole family crazy that she's always on the computer, and that her games are more important than anything. So when I try and talk to her, she doesnt ever actually listen. Then when I get her to listen, I have to yell, and I get in trouble. So she ended up not letting me get on at all. Thank you, mother.

So I found the loophole. I hooked up the old computer and pulled out the router + cord and just used that. So I'm posting from there real quick while I sit here and cry like I usually do. These are the times I wish that Ryan were home. I always pictured that when he had his license, we could just drive away together. Get away from everything, especially my mom and sometimes dad. It wouldn't matter where we went. Even to the gas station up the corner for icies. Even to..canada for all I care. But he's not here and I'm left to deal with this myself. It's a battle I must fight alone.

With my mom not loving my dad anymore, and my dad using passive agression to try and get me to not love my mom anymore(he doens't know he does it), I'm just getting torn apart from the inside out. I don't know how much more I an take...</a>

Eww, this dance was pretty fucked up :( It started with me just chilaxing and it was fun. Then Brenan Mcgee asked me to MY freshman formal. I had to say maybe because I'm still kind of...in the middle with someone? I think? I dunno but I couldn't say yes, but I couldn't say no...

Well multiple times he came up behind me and grabbed my waist and got all up on me dancing and stuff. It was kind of uncomfortable for me, only because of the way we met. He's my big brother's best friend's little brother...If that makes any sense... Well anyway I danced with him and Marqueese. I don't like either of them THAT way, so I'm not too worried right now.

Later Brennan tried to slow dance with me. I told him that I don't slow dance. The truth? I've never slow danced before. I'm saving that. I've had my first fast dance, and my frist kiss, and I hooked up with someone before. None of them meant anything to me. I'm saving my first slowdance to be something special. Maybe at the formal? God I hope so...

Joe broke up with Alison. I guess it's better than going out with her when he didn't want to? Ok, it definately is in my book. The downside? HE'S TAKING EMILY WRIGHT TO THE FORMAL! Ughh... I can't stand that girl. She is such a bitch to me. Not to mention two-faced...

Oh well. I'm actually rather tired but I'm not sleeping yet because I can't! I've got wayy to much on my mind...

Today our team swam against Upper Darby. I knew that we wouldn't win, just because I knew that their team is awsome :o
Anyway, usually I only swim one event. Today, however, Ted put me in THREE! My first emotion was nervious, then I got excited, like whoopty doo! Once it sunk in, it was kind of a questioning feeling. "Why me?" You know, the whole self doubt thing.

So anyway, I swam my first event shortly after diving was over. It was the 100 Free. That's four laps free style. I got a 1:06 as a time and... fifth? I'm not too sure.

Then, after a break during the 500 I rested up for my next event which was the 200 Freestyle relay. That's when four people swim a total of eight laps, two laps each. I did alright, though I was still a bit tired from my previous event. As I was getting out, I felt a little sting on my left big toe. As I was heading back over to my team, I felt it hurt just a little bit more and looked down to see that my toe was bleeding all over the deck. I got really scarred and went into a little nook with some of my teammates so that coach wouldn't see it. Well, one of them got him against my will. He told me to clean it up and let him look at it. So anyway I must have sliced my tow open on the edge of the pool as I got out. Well it stung for a while, and Ted got me a bandaid, but I was alright.

So then it was just a matter of time until my last event, which was the 400 Free relay. That's the same as the 200, but with four laps a person, sixteen laps total. I dove in and my toe stung immediately, but in the end I was fine. I'm worried that it will hurt in my shoe tomorrow and at the dance tomorrow night, but I'll be alright :)

BTW, we lost the meet ;)

So there's a new layout. It's Strawberry Delight <33 I love it. So it's been a while. I'm gonna TRY and get actice again =P It's hard with all this swimming stuff, though. So, anyway. Right now a lot is going on. My main concern is the freshman formal + alex.

The freshman formal's coming up and, as expected, I don't have a date. I want a date, is the problem. I've been waiting night and day for this certain guy from HC to call me, since he asked me for my #, so that I could ask him to the formal, but he never did. So I've got another guy in mind, but I don't think that he'd say yes. =/ Slight dilema.

Alex has been seriously PMSing or something since tuesday. She's been irritated at me a lot and I don't understand what I did :( So I'm just trying to back off and let her have some space for a bit.

Swim Meet tomorrow. Upper Darby. Yay I'm gonna see Anne. And then another one on Fri. Agnus Irwin/Haverford School. There's a dance on Fri as well. Shall I go? I'm not sure...